Thankful…

Some of the things I am thankful for:

- the love of family and friends

- trans guys in leather

- hot femmes

- amazing artists and activists

- tit-tilating erotica

- dirty movies

- glass dildos

What are you thankful for?

Remembers.

Below is a blog from feministing.com that talks about the Transgender Day of Remembrance.

But I’d also like us to take a moment today to not only remember the lives that trans folks have lost, but also the lives that they’ve lived.

Remember fabulous queens, quirky queers, beautiful femmes, handsome butches, daring transmen, strong women, and the collective courage and love of life that our community embodies on a daily basis.

With warmth, love, and pride,

Sexnerd

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Feministing: Transgender Day of Remembrance 2009

Today is the 11th annual Transgender Day of Remembrance. This day was created as a time to grieve trans and gender non-conforming people killed over the past year because of fear and hatred. It also serves as a time to raise awareness about violence against trans folks. The event was started by Gwendolyn Ann Smith following the murder of Rita Hester on November 28, 1998. Every year since the day’s founding vigils and memorial events have been held in the US and increasingly all over the world.

This year the TGEU Trans Murder Monitoring project TDOR 2009 update has collected information about over 160 people killed because of other people’s violent reaction to their trans presentation or identity. These numbers represent only those people we know about. We don’t know how many trans folks were actually murdered this year – our identities are so rarely recognized and there is still so little awareness about trans issues and the violence trans folks face that it is safe to say many murders of trans folks went unreported.

Complete article…

Going Out This Weekend…

you might need this!

Pink Dildo Fucker

Ok, so it’s not specifically trans, but it’s fun and kinky and one of my favorite colors. Hankycode provides a range of other otpions that might arouse your interest.

Anecdotally gender-variants folks seem to be very well represented in BDSM communities. It’s true that spaces are often split into the Straight Community and the Gay Male Community – leaving lesbians, trans folks, genderqueers, and anyone else who doesn’t “fit” up to their own devices. Hence, your handy graphic hanky.  Sure to lubricate communication in any situation. And make people look at your hot ass.

Bodies and Bits

Bodies are always complicated. For trans folks this is no exception.

Sex is often complicated.  This is true for lots of trans folks.

Bodies and sex? Well…for some people that combo is a no-go. If you hate your body fully clothed you’re sure as hell not going to be excited to share it with another person. Except for the people that sure as hell are. And sometimes, there’s a rule, an unspoken rule about how trans folks are supposed to act when it comes to sex.  What they’re supposed to like.

In some communities the rule for masculine trans folks is stone. You’re not gonna let anyone up inside you. No sir (or Sir, or Ma’am, or ma’am). Cause if you like to take it in your girl bits, you are not a real transman.  Sound famliar? Transguys have to cope with and sift through the same mascluine stereotypes as every other person who identifies with the masculine.

In some communities the T guys are supposed to be super horny, doing everything in sight. And if you’re not, dude you’re so not a real T-man. Feminine trans folks have history of sexualization to color all of their own personal wants, desires, and fantasies. Being your own woman is no small feat and for trans women this is especially true.

And now we’ve strayed so very far from the amazing pleasure and eroticism that sex can hold. But what if sex had no shoulds? And what if it wasn’t always tied so closely to gender identity? Where would we be without school girl/teacher or daddy/boy fantasies? Two people fucking. Or three. Making love. Doing it. And enjoying themselves. Maybe.

TimeOut NY says – Date these trans folks!

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that this came out of TimeOut NY, it does kind of seem like their thing.  But what I think is REALLY awesome is the title – the use of “trans folks.” I’ve been using this language for several years as a non-pathologizing way to talk about a group of people that aren’t actually one community but many many communities. So cheers to TimeOut NY and check out these hotties!

http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/sex-dating/80216/date-these-trans-folks/3.html

Things That Make You Gay

We can now add the elderly foursome, The Golden Girls, to the list:

http://christwire.org/2009/10/the-golden-girls-how-one-tv-show-turned-a-generation-of-american-boys-into-homosexuals/

Trans Guys – Finding Community Online

This article has some great links for those who are of the FTM and Twitter persuasion:

http://transguys.com/ref/finding-community-twitter

The Birth of a Sexnerd

Sexnerd is a queer, transgender, genderqueer, dyke, butch, sexologist, therapist, social worker, and artist who lives and breathes East Coast.  And not for want of trying.

Transition into first person – I’ve been a sex nerd for years. My writing has sat in obscurely named files on my computer or in re-used file folders in the back of a drawer labeled “writing” or “inspiration.” Last night I received my first copy of Original Plumbing, a zine-like magazine that celebrates the sexuality and culture of transmen. Bam! This mag is different than On Our Backs, whose print passing I’ve beenmourning for several years now.  On my couch, thumbing through this first offering of spreads and interviews I remembered how the sex nerd was born. I remembered that before graduate degrees and sex therapy what I wanted to do was provide a space for sexuality education and conversation that included the people who looked likeme.

So, whether this is read by a few folks or no folks, here we go on a sex nerd-a-licious adventure!