Fucking Unicorns

I was suddenly single again and my younger brother had come to help me move my stuff from the home I had shared with my now ex-lover to a one-bedroom apartment in a different neighborhood. He was driving and we were having one of the few and far between conversations that we’ve shared about feelings and identity. I was surprised when he asked, “But who are you going to date? It must be hard to date lesbians and be a guy”. I was struck and touched by both his caring and his insightfulness. In my best big brother/sister/genderqueer sibling voice I threw out , “Don’t worry, there’s lots of people who want to date me”. But he had touched on a fear that I harbor even when I’m feeling my best. Three decades of social conditioning is a hard thing to overcome. Who wants to fuck a unicorn?

The trans folks in my life conceptualize their sexual attraction in many creative ways. After all when you fuck with the gender binary you are also fucking with our reliable LGB acronym. If you’re a female bodied genderqueer transman who is attracted to lesbians, what is your sexual orientation? Suddenly sex and love and relationships and dating become complicated in a whole new way. One friend I have has labeled trans sex Rocket Ship sex. There’s a logo and everything. Recently I’ve been thinking about Unicorns.

My conceptualization of Unicorn sex has been greatly influenced by my new lover, who has taught me that Unicorns can come in all sorts of shapes sizes and genders. This morning as we took an urban morning walk with her dog, two well-meaning guys nodded in our direction and said, “Good morning ladies”. Just a block before, I had exchanged a manly hello with a passerby. Within one hundred feet we had gone from being a heterosexual couple to a lesbian couple as I had gone from being read as a man to being read as a woman. I like to think that both times we were also clearly a queer couple, but who knows what other people see. Seriously though, what’s more magical than changing your gender and sexual orientation just by taking a walk in the city? Unicorns.

Unicorns are fantastical creatures that exist only in legend. They posses properties unknown in today’s world, but also realistic enough to easily imagine them as part of our landscape. Lots of animals have horns? Why not just one single one? Many animals have become extinct, why not the Unicorn? Unicorns are rare. They are also beautiful. They embody magic and mystery. They are also strong. And often alone.

As my lover and I walked away and continued on our morning adventure I thought about what I saw when I looked in the mirror at us. Two unicorns. Finding their way, unafraid of their own beauty, embodying their own power, queering the streets of the city one block at a time. Leaving a little magic behind.

Artwork from www.threadless.com